In exactly four days, and about ten hours, I will start the last year of my thirties.
Having prepared for this big moment, I've really tackled some dark and deep questions over the past few weeks. So, what's my biggest fear of getting older? I'll start with my top three.
1. Losing time.
Because I'm an emotionally-charged thinker, I have a tendency to examine some pretty dark fricken thoughts. I like to conceal this by portraying a somewhat sunny outside persona, but the truth is, I think about dying every day. Sound morbid? Well, there is no need to put me in a straight jacket yet. I worry about dying because I'm so afraid of missing out on something. Yep, I have a major case of life FOMO (fear of missing out). My bucket list has gotten so long, I'm afraid I'll never get to everything, and time is only running out. I'll admit that some of my bucket list items are a bit far-fetched but I'm a big time dreamer, with goals galore and a new self-help book every week to guide me along the way. From taking a cross country road trip to writing a children's book, I'm hoping that these self-help books will give me the tools needed to somehow organize my life and put together a plan of attack to accomplish my five million goals.
Unless some genius scientist comes up with a solution that will ward off health issues as we age, I believe this is a pretty rational fear. It is for this reason that I question every ache and pain that I have. Headaches could be a brain tumor, lower back pain could be spinal cancer, if there is even such a thing. Numbness in my arm could be the beginning stages of ALS. Yeah, my mind is a petri dish of toxic thoughts.
3. Losing a loved one.
As the natural process of life goes, when we age, everyone else around us ages too. Which ups the chances of some tragedy or illness happening to a loved one. So far in my 38.999 years, I've had the good fortune of not having to suffer too much loss, but I know it's inevitable and each new year of life will bring me that much closer to losing someone close to me.
So, now that I've presented you with this platter of sobering thoughts, tell me what your biggest fears are.
And to mark my 39th year, I'm giving a gift to readers everywhere...the digital version of The Gift will be FREE from 10/24 until my big day on 10/28.